Marriage can become a daily boring routine. In fact for many couples that is what it has become. A habit rather than a relationship they enjoy. Who is responsible for keeping the sizzle in the relationship? I think both parties are, but a lot of the time they don’t really know what to do. Any marriage that still has the fire, passion and excitement has taken a lot of work from the man and woman. Here are some tips for you.
- Put God first in your relationship. He is the unseen hand that holds it all together. Problems always come in marriages but with Him in the fore front, they always go away. He will lead, direct, nudge, encourage and protect the marriage because it matters to Him.
- Tell your spouse you love him or her. Men like to show their affections by the things they do for their wives and I am sure every wife appreciates the things they do. Actions speak louder than words, but words often speak more clearly than actions. Take a moment every now and then to verbalize your feelings for your spouse. A simple “I love you” or “You mean the world to me” can go a long way towards making your significant other feel wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship.
- Small acts of physical intimacy. They could be the hand on the small of the back as you brush by in the hallway, your arm around their shoulder on the sofa, your hand on their thigh when seated side-by-side, holding hands while walking down the street – give your spouse a warm feeling to convey the love and affection you feel for him or her. The littlest touch can be as important, or even more important, than the longest night of sexual intimacy.
- Show appreciation for your spouse.
Let him or her know on a regular basis what it is that you like most about them – what you admire, what makes you proud, what their strengths are in your eyes. Encouraging and supporting each other’s growth over the course of your lives should be an everyday thing.
- Don’t take your spouse for granted. Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your spouse and the thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life. Remember that, if you’re happy in your relationship, your partner is doing a thousand little things for you every day to make your relationship work. I guess it works both ways
- Communicate to share yourself. Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it’s important to you, share it with your spouse. Those are the things couples should talk about when they spend time together, not the national economy or the other people’s issues. They get to know one another better-wholesome communication.
- Life can throw stuff at us. It is important to be there for your spouse when life hits them. The loss of a job, life threatening ill health or the death of a loved one, are all part of life. But it’s important to be supportive when your spouse faces these challenges. Even non-threatening things like an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced key can be rattling. Being the voice of calm and reason when chaos strikes is the best you can be at such times. Listen to what’s bothering them and offer whatever help you can, even if it’s just sympathy. It will be appreciated.
- Be generous with gifts. Look for any excuse to buy a gift for your spouse. They become material tokens of your love. Birthdays and anniversaries are given. But every other day is another reason to give a gift. Just the right book picked up at the bookstore, a special dessert, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store – anything small or large that tells them you were thinking of them. Leave a love note for them, or send them an SMS at work to “I love you” – again, the little reminder that they’re always on your mind will help your spouse feel better about themselves and secure in your relationship.
- Be fair in your relationship. Look out for one another. Get out of traditional marriage models that no longer work. Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your spouse as you would have done unto you. These are the days all hands have to be on deck for household tasks. Don’t have unfair expectations of your spouse.