I got a bb saying it was Daughters’ Week recently. I was quick to put up a picture of my three daughters as my bb picture for the week. But it got me to watch them closely all week. They all look alike, particularly the older two. People actually mix them up. However, despite their similar looks they are so different, it’s amazing.
I recall that before I started having children, I wanted one son and then daughters. If I had 10 children, it would have been one son and nine daughters. In fact my desire to have daughters was so strong, that when the doctors announced my son’s sex, I broke into tears. I did not know what I would do with a male child. I had wanted a daughter so badly.
Eventually the girls came. Beautiful and lovely. As different as they are lovely. First came Maruche. I had just started work in a bank and was not supposed to get pregnant just yet. Then it happened. I was scared I would lose the job. I really needed it at the time. We were a young family with so many needs. The job was a life line.
Then it occurred to me to abort the pregnancy. At that point I said to myself, ‘Chinwe you have gone stark, raving mad’. Can a job become so important that you would even think along those lines’.
I got past that. It was a very trying time of my life because though I did not lose the job, I had to work like I was not pregnant, in a high stress department in the bank. It was tough. I got back form work and went into labor. I worked till the last day. When I looked at her, I was grateful for her. She was worth all the trouble.
Then came Ginika two years later. Pretty with a head full of hair. We often tease her for having the hair for all the girls in the family. I got a flash of her name on my way to work and I knew I was about to have another baby. Lo and behold she arrived a few months later.
I thought I was done, then Neto shows up. Very unexpectedly. I was just not ready for her but she was here to stay. I tell her story in DOVE EYES/Blog/A MUM’S MEMOIRS.
Then as I look at the picture I put up of the three of them, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for each of them. Neto is the extrovert, Ginika is the introvert, and Maruche swings from one to the other. Maruche loves and does housework with joy, Ginika very reluctantly and Neto gets in the way. Ginika is the genius while the others do very well. But she is exceptional.
I deal with menstrual cycles, bras, underwear, jewelry, fashion, make up, school work, boys lurking in the background, the list is endless. But I love and appreciate every minute of it. I love teaching them to cook and keep house. I love teaching them about God- helping them understand how much they need Him in their everyday lives.
I love my son Dikachi who is older than them all, but nothing beats raising girls. He used to desire a brother but it never happened. I have not had a difficult time raising him. In fact he has never given me reason to despair or worry but I love being Mum to my daughters.
It’s a warm feeling of raising princesses for God. I simply love it. CK